then there are blackbirds

ephemere

I am weary of people speaking of anger as if it were a chosen, controllable thing. It is so tiring, this anger, and I would will it away from me if I could. It exhausts me to go into arguments with the full expectation that I will have to defend myself from accusations simply because I am angry. I don't even have to wonder about the lines of thought that lead to these statements -- why should I, when I'm surrounded by the same system that has taught us to suffer in silence, to be patient, to work hard, to deserve the voices and the rights to be regarded as equal with those who have taken these very things away? I know (because I have been told, over and over) that one shouldn't blame anyone else for ignorance, that one should value intention, that one shouldn't deride those who mean well because eventually they'll learn.

Maybe they'll learn. Maybe they won't. But I refuse to stay silent in the meantime. An act that perpetuates oppression, if unchallenged, only serves to reinforce oppression. The more people that choose to recuse themselves from speaking out, due to fear of giving offense, the less there will be to join the struggle against these wrongs. Speak to me of the hue and the cry. Speak to me of it, again and again, because it is still necessary, and it is still not enough, and the fact that we have to raise these issues, over and over, is an outrage in and of itself.

Speak to me of how sometimes the hue and the cry is all we have, because we are so powerless everywhere else. Speak to me of how even the very act of speaking out against injustice is already an act of empowerment -- because do you know how long people have gone without the capacity to make their cries against injustice known, do you know how much it means for a person to finally, finally make the choice to be silent no longer? Speak to me of taking freedom of expression for granted, speak to me of rights -- because I have lived for years knowing that no matter what I said, it would mean nothing, it would not be listened to, simply because I am who I am and everything around me tells me that my issues and my problems and the inequalities crushing me under their weight are unimportant. Do not exist.

glockgal

lemniciate