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glass_icarusFor the daily December meme, sheafrotherdon asked me what my most and least favorite things about academia are. End of semester is a great time to get this one out of the way, I think!
Least favorite first: I really hate how grad school/academia eats away at my emotional and mental health. I never felt this way during my masters program, so it's possible this is more PhD-specific? But oh man, in the immortal words of Aang, not fun. Basically I've achieved fantastic new levels of imposter syndrome which involve feeling incompetent about something almost every single day. I can literally see anxiety taking the place of confidence in many situations- especially prof interactions, and often ones where I'm asking for help or advice- I was once totally comfortable in, and I think I'm fairly well-adjusted to grad school! Things I have to do that I never needed to before:
- brace myself for emotional whiplash when it comes to feedback (and most of it's constructive!)
- remind myself that I am actually okay with not being an expert and that literally nobody knows ALL the things
- remember that everyone has a learning curve and it's okay to be in the middle of one
- talk myself down from extremely irrational levels of email flailing
- actively fight for guilt-free break or recovery time (I do take it! I just usually lose the guilt battle...)
- figure out time-efficient coping mechanisms when I don't have the luxury of a sufficient break to go zouk or consume comfort media
- remind myself that I am a whole human being outside of my academic work and that my value as a person is independent of it
I'm cynical about academia a lot, but my favorite thing- what brought me here and keeps me stubbornly fighting my way through- is the process of problem-solving and puzzling things out. I love brainstorming, sharing info, and unapologetically nerding with people who are in the same boat, whether or not we have the same areas of interest. It's often as (or more) frustrating as it is satisfying, but I find it inspiring to be around people with so much curiosity about the world and how things work.
PS: if you'd like to suggest a topic for me to babble about, I'm still taking prompts!
sheafrotherdon asked me what my most and least favorite things about academia are. End of semester is a great time to get this one out of the way, I think!Least favorite first: I really hate how grad school/academia eats away at my emotional and mental health. I never felt this way during my masters program, so it's possible this is more PhD-specific? But oh man, in the immortal words of Aang, not fun. Basically I've achieved fantastic new levels of imposter syndrome which involve feeling incompetent about something almost every single day. I can literally see anxiety taking the place of confidence in many situations- especially prof interactions, and often ones where I'm asking for help or advice- I was once totally comfortable in, and I think I'm fairly well-adjusted to grad school! Things I have to do that I never needed to before:
- brace myself for emotional whiplash when it comes to feedback (and most of it's constructive!)
- remind myself that I am actually okay with not being an expert and that literally nobody knows ALL the things
- remember that everyone has a learning curve and it's okay to be in the middle of one
- talk myself down from extremely irrational levels of email flailing
- actively fight for guilt-free break or recovery time (I do take it! I just usually lose the guilt battle...)
- figure out time-efficient coping mechanisms when I don't have the luxury of a sufficient break to go zouk or consume comfort media
- remind myself that I am a whole human being outside of my academic work and that my value as a person is independent of it
I'm cynical about academia a lot, but my favorite thing- what brought me here and keeps me stubbornly fighting my way through- is the process of problem-solving and puzzling things out. I love brainstorming, sharing info, and unapologetically nerding with people who are in the same boat, whether or not we have the same areas of interest. It's often as (or more) frustrating as it is satisfying, but I find it inspiring to be around people with so much curiosity about the world and how things work.
PS: if you'd like to suggest a topic for me to babble about, I'm still taking prompts!
